I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
