He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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