I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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