you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
