I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
how does that bad decision feel?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
