And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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