Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
