Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
