Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
