Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
