I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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