Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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