The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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