Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
