Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
