I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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