I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
