just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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