You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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