i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
