none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
