Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
