you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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