im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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