Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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