Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
