So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
