I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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