Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
