My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
