You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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