Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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