So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Randomize
