your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
