i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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