Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
