i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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