marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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