Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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