so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
