Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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