I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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