We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
