we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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