mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
