Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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