You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
