My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
