your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
