...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
