Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
