The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
