Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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