I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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