Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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