Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
