i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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